Eventually I began to formulate art strategies. I secured Fishman from the scrutiny of destructive scientific method. I published my findings within the visual arts to effect the public perception of my experiences of Fishman as parable and as allegory. I elevated Fishman from fact / specimen to fiction / symbol.

I took refuge in the Cartesian notion of the "clear and distinct". For me, the reality was that of the Fishman embedded in the emulsion of the film. I held the strip of film in my hand and beheld the attenuated figure with my eyes. It was all perfectly clear and distinct: - the Fishman, the film, the studio, the window, the trees beyond it. I believe I maintained my sanity, and my intellectual dignity, through a determined commitment to silence. I did not tell a soul.

JR. Journal entry: May 1988